None of This is Real

none of this is real

none of this is real

none of this is real!

I have to bellow

against the voice

in my head

that demands dissonance.

I have to bellow

against the voice

in my head

that tells me

you’re playing games.

So easily I could

let slip

my grip

and float in

agony

along with the current.

So easily I could

let slip

my grip

and succumb to

the anarchy

my brain cell houses.

None of this is real

I whisper to nothing

and no one

but myself.

But what if it is?

and once again,

I have ruined something

before it could walk

on its own.

But I bellow anyway,

to no one

and nothing

and for no one

but myself.

None of this is real,

please believe me.

I’m terrified though,

but never have I felt

more alive.

Thus, I distance myself;

I pull back

and play my own game

all the while

swearing,

praying,

up and down that you wouldn’t.

How can this be real…

- Samual Curtis